Deborah’s
Story

A Foundationer parent tells her story….

 

I would like to share a story about two sisters whose lives unfolded in very different ways.

 

Growing Up in a Military Family

 

Born into a military family, my children’s lives were never going to be ordinary. Their world was shaped by adventure and possibility, but also by the uncertainty that comes with watching both parents deploy to war zones and humanitarian disasters across the world.

 

Holly, my eldest, was five years old when her sister Heather arrived. Their father had just returned from his third tour in Afghanistan and was struggling to find his place in civilian life. The man who came home was not the one who left.  His six-month career break while I deployed to Afghanistan blurred into six years, and alcohol addiction tightened its grip on our family.  Our home became a place of fear, chaos, and instability. The turning point came when I found him unresponsive and had to fight to save his life. Despite this, he never faced his demons or accepted help.

 

A Family of Three

 

Now a family of three. Holly was starting secondary school with all her primary school friends. She was happy, excelling in her subjects, kind, and growing into a confident young person.

 

Then the bullying began – quietly at first, after she stood up for another child. She learned there that doing the right thing can make you a target, so she stopped speaking out. I later learned the daily humiliations grew into serious physical assaults, and taunted to fight, just because she had military parents. Every situation within the school was mishandled or ignored.  At thirteen, she fought back, not just against the bullies but against the system that failed her. Instead of being supported, she was labelled and punished, excluded for long periods, which only ate away at her confidence.  We tried moving schools, we tried homeschooling – none of it worked

 

On the brink of being expelled, Holly was sent to a special education centre for troubled children – one girl among fifteen boys, many already known to the police. She now had to fight to survive, not just to be seen.  These centres often keep children off the streets and contained rather than provide any real education. They also attract outsiders seeking vulnerable children like Holly. She was pushed into dangerous situations no child should face, and no parent should have to live through. By fifteen, she was addicted to drugs.

 

Our lives weren’t in chaos this time – they were in crisis, and I was also becoming worried about Heather’s safety.

 

Heather’s Path

 

I knew that if nothing changed, the same school environment could shape her, too. I first heard about LWC and the foundation from Charmian at the Armed Forces Education Trust whilst seeking some tutoring support for Holly. I was asked if Heather needed some support, too. I said no, thank you. I had absolutely no desire to send my youngest child to a boarding school.

 

I thought that was the end of that conversation, but as I stand here today, it clearly was not.

 

During the next phone call, the words Charmian spoke to me changed our lives: “What if Heather gets to thirteen and has the same problems in school?” Pause. Now she had my attention!

 

Driving through those Acorn gates for the first time honestly took my breath away. There was a mix of excitement and fear – fear of being separated from Heather if she got in, and fear of what we would do next if she didn’t. On foundation selection day, my fears eased as soon as we met Mr Williams. He walked in with a warmth that stood out. I can’t remember a word of his speech – sorry, Mr Williams, but I remember how he greeted each child as if they already belonged. Took the time to share a story with each child – something that sparked their imagination.

 

 The delight and wonder on Heather’s face that day – I’ll never forget. And I knew this school was different.

 

Those first years in junior house gave me the best gift that any mum could wish for; They allowed Heather to be a child again, and I will be forever grateful.

 

Diverging Lives

 

This was when my children’s lives diverged. They came from the same family and shared similar experiences, but the decisive influence on each of them was the school they attended.

 

One sister was invisible – someone who had to fight just to be seen. The other wasn’t just seen; she was valued – encouraged to be brave, to be curious, to make mistakes, to try again.

 

One needed an entire support network to hold her up. The other found everything she needed to thrive within these grounds.

 

One left school with no qualifications and no direction. The other stands in Lower Sixth with ambition, purpose, and a future she can see clearly. One was treated unkindly by teachers who couldn’t cope with a child who didn’t fit their mould.

 

One is surrounded by adults who model kindness, integrity, and compassion every day.

 

Finding Hope and Support

 

I can’t change Holly’s past. But LWC didn’t just change Heather’s future – it changed all of our lives. It gave me time to help Holly rebuild hers. Seeing her little sister doing so well motivated her to restart her education- she’s now doing well, working towards becoming a lawyer so she can help others. It gave me the space to continue to work professionally, knowing that Heather was safe. But most of all, it gave me a chance to start living again.

 

Through the Sahara and Iceland fundraising treks, I had the privilege of meeting some of the kindest and most generous people. And they reminded me what it felt like to laugh again, to belong, to be part of something much bigger than the struggle we’d survived. And it is an honour to call you my friends.

 

Conclusion

 

Heather doesn’t just walk into LWC with her head held high. She walks in knowing she is safe and valued.

 

Thank you to everyone who believed in her – who saw not just the child she was, but the remarkable young woman she could become.

 

But most of all, thank you to Heather. For your courage and your determination, to show us all what becomes possible when a child is truly seen, truly supported, and truly loved.

  Inspired by Deborah’s story? Help us to widen the worlds of more young people through a transformative Lord Wandsworth College education. Consider supporting our Foundation Day Appeal. You can read more about the work of the Lord Wandsworth Foundation here.