When the Path Takes a Twist

As more than a million students across England await A-level, BTEC and GCSE results, LWC’s Head of Psychology, Lottie Howes, makes the case for the benefits of some things taking an unexpected turn.

 

Next week, exam performance will dominate the headlines again when A-level results are published across England, Wales and Northern Ireland. A week later, GCSEs will follow. These may be framed in terms of record numbers of students achieving top grades, or by a fall compared to previous years. Whatever the trend for 2026, few will talk openly about any disappointment felt.

 

To be clear, disappointment can come in many forms. It could be an A instead of an A* in A-level Maths, an 8 instead of a 9 in GCSE Drama. A second-choice university, instead of the first.

 

But maybe it’s time to think about the benefits of this feeling, however it finds us.

 

Disappointment is one of the few experiences that quietly connects every person in a community.

 

It arrives in countless ways and at unexpected moments through plans that unravel, opportunities that disappear, friendships and relationships that change or grief that alters the shape of life entirely. Sometimes, disappointment comes from something dramatic and visible; more often, it comes from the quieter realisation that life has not unfolded quite as we imagined it would.

 

And yet, despite its universality, disappointment is something we rarely speak about honestly.

 

Schools are naturally places of ambition and aspiration. At LWC, we celebrate achievement, creativity, leadership and character. We encourage our young people to aim high, to immerse themselves in every aspect of school life and to care deeply about the world around them. But woven through every meaningful life is the experience of disappointment. In many ways, learning how to respond to setbacks or a change in direction with perspective and resilience is part of what education is really preparing our young people for.

 

Psychology offers a valuable contribution here. Disappointment itself is not harmful. It’s actually a healthy emotional response to loss, unmet expectations or change. Problems tend to arise when people begin to suppress emotions, isolate themselves or interpret disappointment as evidence of personal failure.

 

For young people, disappointment is often tied to first experiences, such as the friendship that changes, the rejection that stings more than expected, or the exam result that doesn’t quite reflect the effort invested. As we grow older, disappointment appears more quietly and with greater complexity; it can include worries about family, relationships, health, work or simply the growing awareness that life rarely unfolds exactly as we imagined.

 

And one of the reasons that disappointment can feel so overwhelming is that it affects perspective. Psychologists sometimes refer to “emotional reasoning”, the tendency to assume that because we feel something strongly, it must therefore be completely true. A student who has had a negative exam experience may begin to think, “I’m not capable.” An adult experiencing rejection may conclude, “Nothing ever works out for me.” In difficult moments, temporary feelings can begin to sound like permanent truths.

 

This is why our response to disappointment matters so much.

 

For students, one of the healthiest responses is resisting the urge to withdraw completely. Staying connected to trusted friends, routines, hobbies, sport or supportive adults can prevent setbacks from becoming overwhelming, whilst maintaining perspective. It’s also important to separate identity from outcome. A grade lower than you had hoped, a troubled friendship or a missed opportunity may feel significant at the time, but it should never become a sole measure of self-worth.

   

For adults, there can be a strong instinct to try to solve problems immediately or remove discomfort. Yet research consistently suggests that resilience develops not by avoiding difficulty altogether, but by sitting with it and learning that difficult emotions can be managed safely and with support. Often, the most valuable thing that adults can offer is a calm presence rather than instant solutions. This means listening without judgement, helping young people to maintain perspective and reminding them that setbacks are part of life, not the end of possibility.

 

Psychologist Susan David, in her book Emotional Agility, describes discomfort as “the price of admission to a meaningful life.” Perhaps disappointment is part of that price, too. We can’t fully love, hope or aspire without also risking pain when life inevitably changes course.

 

This doesn’t mean pretending that painful experiences are secretly positive, often referred to as “toxic positivity”. Some disappointments remain deeply sad. Grief changes people permanently. But part of emotional maturity is recognising that not every painful experience needs to be neatly resolved for life to continue meaningfully around it.

 

At LWC, our Waymarkers reference the importance of character and compassion, alongside connection and service. Kindness and generosity naturally stem from these and may matter most during periods of disappointment. Checking in, sending a message, sitting alongside a friend or noticing when someone may not be coping as well as they appear, offers more value than we will ever truly know. Human beings are remarkably resilient, but resilience is rarely built alone. Supportive relationships act as protective factors during periods of stress, grief and uncertainty.

 

Beyond academics, it is schools where young people often learn that life will not always go to plan, and that this need not make life smaller, but instead, will do quite the opposite if given the opportunity. Approached with honesty, kindness and perspective, disappointment can deepen empathy, strengthen resilience and remind us of the importance of the people around us.

 

Here at LWC, there is enormous value placed on ambition, curiosity and striving to make a positive difference in the world. But part of making that difference is also learning how to respond when life feels difficult or imperfect and doing so with compassion, confidence and the belief that disappointment is something we’re all capable of sitting with and moving through, together.